Siri Speaks Out!

By Sandy Berger, Compu-KISS
sandy (at)

Siri is the virtual assistant that is available in the newer iPhone and iPads. Siri helps you perform tasks, translates your voice into text, and delivers verbal information. Siri works right out of the box with no training. So, recently, when my whole family was gathered together, we decided to get to know Siri on my iPhone a bit better. We all started taking turns asking Siri some questions. We found some interesting things about Siri and also about the people who programmed her.

Siri, it seems is really a team player. She loves to compliment her owner.
Q. Who is your mother?
A. I have you. That’s enough family for me.

Q. Do you love me?
A. Let’s just say…you have my utmost admiration.

Q. What is your favorite song?
A. I’m happy listening to your music.

Q. Do I look fat in this?
A. Simply fabulous, Sandy. Is that what you wanted to hear?

NOTE: The “Is that what you wanted to hear?” part was obviously writing by a male programmer.

Siri doesn’t have just one answer. Many times she is programmed with several answers to the same question. When asked the “Do I look fat question” repeatedly, she came up with several other answers including: I don’t know. But I guess you look pretty good., Looking good, Sandy! Is that what you wanted to hear? and Judging from your voice, I’d say you must be fairly attractive.

Not only does Siri have a sense of humor, but she knows about Abbott and Costello. When asked “Who is on first?” she responded, “Right. That’s the man’s name.”

Although Siri knows about comedy, she is not much of a jokester.

Q. Did you hear the joke about the priest, minister, and rabbi?
A. I don’t think I’ve heard that.

Q. Do you know any jokes?
A. What did one iPhone say to the other iPhone…mmm, I used to know this one.

We tried to get some personal information about Siri.
Q. Do you have a family?
A. Well, I have you.

Q. Where were you born?
A. I, Siri, was designed by Apple in California

Q. Are you a boy or a girl?
A. I was not assigned a gender.

Q. You are pretty
A. I don’t know why everyone keeps saying that. But thanks.

Q. Siri, you are hilarious.
A. Yes. Sometimes I do feel funny

Q. Did you get anything for Christmas?
A. I already have everything I need.

Q. How old are you?
A. I’m old enough to be your assistant.


It seems that Siri is not too religious, but she knows about philosophy.
Q. Who is God?
A. Humans have religion. I just have silicon.

Q. What is the meaning of life?
A. It’s nothing Nietzsche couldn’t teach you.

There are times when Siri just doesn’t understand what you mean.

Q. Can you say the Hail Mary?
A. No hail in sight in Mary, Turkmenistan.
Siri’s best answer, however, may be this one.

Q. What is the best cell phone?
A. Wait….there are other phones?


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